Severe:
intensely or extremely bad or unpleasant in degree or quality;
"a hard left to the chin"; "a knockout punch"; "a severe blow"
Profound:
to a great depth psychologically;
"They felt the loss deeply"
After Tuesday, this is where we find our self today.
We've taken a hard left to the chin, a severe blow and are today feeling the loss deeply!
Our little Nugget had his surgery on Tuesday...after it being postponed due to a flare up of his bronchiolitis. They inserted tubes and then performed an ABR test, all in the hopes of a definitive answer to our questions concerning his hearing.
Our answer...severe to profound hearing loss, but not just in his left ear but also his right.
That's the hard left to the chin. The unexpected blow.
Our little nugget is deaf...he can not hear.
Where are we today...SAD.
I have had several conversations with family and friends and this is how I honestly feel...
It could be worse. I was not given a diagnosis that could possibly take my baby from me. A year from now...two years from now this will just be our life. Today...we have a lot of decisions that we need to move on. Physical therapy due to his developmental delay. Visits with the audiologist for hearing aids. Speech Therapists. Discussions with the ENT about cochlear implants. Learning sign language.
For those of you who need further explanation of degree of hearing loss check out these definitions.
Today...we are SAD, but still blessed.
He is a joy. Has ALWAYS had the best disposition. Loving. Goofy. Cuddly.
Missy shared with me today as she cried. "Sis, Livi came home the other day and told me she wanted to learn sign language. I told her sure, maybe that is something we could do together." Livi had no idea of K's hearing loss in his left ear and definitely had no idea that we would get the diagnosis we got on Tuesday.
God is good. He made our boy special. He gave him to us, Me and Christopher. Our job is to love him (easy) and to teach him that God's reasons are sometimes greater than our understanding.
Does it sound like I am trying to convince myself? I am. I am his mother. I want life to be as easy as it can be. I know he will struggle. I know (especially in the beginning) we as a family will struggle.
Most important...I know we LOVE him!
I told my mom yesterday when it was all sinking in..."He has never heard my voice. He has never heard me tell him I love him. I am so thankful I am obsessed with kissing that sweet face. I am so thankful that every time I pick him up I kiss him, every time I lay him down for bed...I squeeze him just a little tighter. "
He is our little Lover and I am sure even if he can't hear the I LOVE YOU'S he FEELS them!
Our little Nugget had his surgery on Tuesday...after it being postponed due to a flare up of his bronchiolitis. They inserted tubes and then performed an ABR test, all in the hopes of a definitive answer to our questions concerning his hearing.
Our answer...severe to profound hearing loss, but not just in his left ear but also his right.
That's the hard left to the chin. The unexpected blow.
Our little nugget is deaf...he can not hear.
Where are we today...SAD.
I have had several conversations with family and friends and this is how I honestly feel...
It could be worse. I was not given a diagnosis that could possibly take my baby from me. A year from now...two years from now this will just be our life. Today...we have a lot of decisions that we need to move on. Physical therapy due to his developmental delay. Visits with the audiologist for hearing aids. Speech Therapists. Discussions with the ENT about cochlear implants. Learning sign language.
For those of you who need further explanation of degree of hearing loss check out these definitions.
Today...we are SAD, but still blessed.
He is a joy. Has ALWAYS had the best disposition. Loving. Goofy. Cuddly.
Missy shared with me today as she cried. "Sis, Livi came home the other day and told me she wanted to learn sign language. I told her sure, maybe that is something we could do together." Livi had no idea of K's hearing loss in his left ear and definitely had no idea that we would get the diagnosis we got on Tuesday.
God is good. He made our boy special. He gave him to us, Me and Christopher. Our job is to love him (easy) and to teach him that God's reasons are sometimes greater than our understanding.
Does it sound like I am trying to convince myself? I am. I am his mother. I want life to be as easy as it can be. I know he will struggle. I know (especially in the beginning) we as a family will struggle.
Most important...I know we LOVE him!
I told my mom yesterday when it was all sinking in..."He has never heard my voice. He has never heard me tell him I love him. I am so thankful I am obsessed with kissing that sweet face. I am so thankful that every time I pick him up I kiss him, every time I lay him down for bed...I squeeze him just a little tighter. "
He is our little Lover and I am sure even if he can't hear the I LOVE YOU'S he FEELS them!
2 comments:
I wish I had some awesome...powerful...encouraging words for you to help you maybe feel a little better. I can't imagine what you are going through, but what I do know is...you are exactly right! God's plans are not our plans...I believe he has just placed an even higher calling on Kellan's life and that Kellan is going to touch people's hearts and lives. I also know that our name for K fits him perfect! He is most definitely a precious little man! Special K and you ALL are in our prayers!!!
Aw, Sara I am awed by your ability to handle all of the things going on in your life with such grace. We will be praying for him and you and your new path. It will all be for good. Lets wait patiently and see what God has in store for you all! My love and prayers are with you
xobuckwheat
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