There are moments in my day where my world just stands still.
It hits me hard, but it is silent.
When it leaves I am not sure whether to be grateful for the relief or long once more for the silence.
I just miss her...
Streams in the Dessert L.B. Cowman
Yesterday you experienced a great sorrow, and now your home seems empty. Your first impulse is to give up and to sit down in despair amid your dashed hopes. Yet you must defy that temptation, for you are at the front line of the battle, and the crisis is at hand. Faltering even one moment would put God's interest at risk. Other lives will be harmed by your hesitation, and His work will suffer if you simply fold your hands. You must not linger at this point, even to indulge your grief.
We never completely recover from our greatest griefs and are never exactly the same after having passed through them. Yet sorrow that is endured in the right spirit impacts our growth favorably and brings us a greater sense of compassion for others. "The joy set before" (Heb. 12:2) us should shine on our griefs just as the sun shines through the clouds, making them radiant.
...if we will turn from the gloom and remain faithful to the calling of God, the light will shine again and we will grow STRONGER. J.R Miller
I have steered many conversations, ignored many phone calls, and put off encounters...
I am not sure how to respond.
I guess...I know I'm just not in the "right spirit".
I'll get there.
I just need to know in my heart that I am not putting "His interests at risk" because of my sadness.
So for now...
I am going to be a mom and a wife.
Something I know that kept that sweet smile on her face!